Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
