She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize