I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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