hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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