Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Randomize
