They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
