apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
