Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
