She said her name was "party"
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I'm both gender and math confused
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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