YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
We need to rekindle our bromance
I cut my penus on the lid.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
