Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
