My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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