I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
