What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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