My girlfriend figured out who you are.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
