we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
