I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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