she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
