O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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