I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
