and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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