Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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