dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
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Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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