At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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