Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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