So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I enjoy the company of your penis
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