the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
