So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
