I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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