dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
