I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
