Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
