dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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