I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
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she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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