He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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