I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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