new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
