C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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