Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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