why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
