Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Randomize
