You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
