We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
