I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
