so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize