I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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