I could make wine with my vomit
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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