My friends, they love my intelligence
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Randomize
