Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Who did Billy Mays play for?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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