the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
