We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
