508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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