drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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