My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
