ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
