he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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