About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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